The Catherine Tate Show - Wikiquote. The Catherine Tate Show (2. Comedienne Catherine Tate writes and appears in all of the show's sketches, which feature a wide range of characters. Series 1? Beyonce is well bing bing. I ain't even bovvered! Don't tell me what to do, are you telling me what to do? Are you disrespecting me? Why don't you shut up though? I don't care though, I ain't bovvered! Estate Agent: Terry your husband? What the hell have you done in here? You know what they say about a man who likes a bit of chrome in his kitchen, likes a bit of cock up his arse! Do you dream about it? No kids, drives a big black Cherokee Jeep, likes chrome, not to mention the cheap aftershave and cropped hair. YOU BIG OLE' BENDER! Nan Taylor: What a load of ole' shit! That ain't bad is it, that's quite reasonable. I don't know where I'd put it all, but I'd take it all off your hands for a pound. Oh, fuckin' chill out! The Backhander Woman: You know what you could do, you could just get out of your car and say No! Hitler worshipping pikey scum! Woman In Office: Guess where my hairdresser comes from? They don't have hairdressers in Norfolk. My hairdresser's from Cardiff! You need more than a haircut, you scab faced old trout!!!!!!!!!! Aga Saga Woman: Darling, what are you doing? What did mummy tell you? Not with a wooden spoon, you'll bruise the dough. Thomas, Chloe, I've got some bad news, daddy hasn't been able to find any good brie on this trip. The exhibition, called “The Radical Eye”, will show rare prints from 60 photographers from the 1920s to the 1950s. Sir Elton has amassed more than 7,000 images since he began his collection in 1991, the year he won Best. Thomas: What about that Wensleydale left over from Ginnie's christening? Aga Saga Woman: Don't be silly, it's a Parisian picnic, do you want the other children to laugh at you? Series 2. Years ago, you had to be spewing up your guts to see a doctor. Yes, it is an emergency! Me head's hangin' off! What a fuckin' liberty! They want shootin' they really do. Well, it's too late now, love! It's too fucking late. What a load of ole' shit!!! Derek Faye: Mother and I had a little day out. Me and my mother have come in this shop for 2. I have never been so insulted! Just because a man wears a little foundation, takes time on his appearance, you automatically accuse him of hiding the sausage?! The Catherine Tate Show episode guides on TV.com. Watch The Catherine Tate Show episodes, view pictures, get episode information, cast, join the conversation and more. Tate Online Shop promotes ranges in Tate Modern, Tate Britain, Liverpool and St Ives shops. Bringing you the latest Tate book launches, artists and designer products designed exclusively for Tate. More from the Catherine Tate Show - Be careful when getting too excited at Christmas! Hilarious comedy sketches from BBC tv series The Catherine Tate Show. Tate's Bake Shop provides you the perfect homemade baked goods to celebrate any occasion or event. Find the best baked goods and healthy food items like Cookies, Cakes, Brownies, Pies, Squares, Blondies and more at. ITunes is the world's easiest way to organize and add to your digital media collection. We are unable to find iTunes on your computer. To download and subscribe to The Miesha Tate Show by Swell Story Media, get iTunes now. The Catherine Tate Show is an award-winning British television sketch comedy written by Catherine Tate who stars in all of the show's sketches, which feature a wide range of characters. The Catherine Tate Show airs on BBC Two. The critically acclaimed, award-winning comedian and actor Catherine Tate, will take The Catherine Tate Show - Live across the country this autumn, with a 21 date UK tour starting on 1 November. Tickets for all shows will go. Sign Up; Log In; Blog About Us Terms of Use Privacy Policy Help Follow us on Twitter . That Metal Show distills decades of your favorite hard rock and heavy metal into a solid sixty minutes. Hosted by Eddie Trunk, Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson. Oh, and we're the Metal God's favorite show. Well, I find you impertinent. Janice: We were on our way to see our Valda, we have to keep stopping on the way because Ray forgot his driving glasses. Ray: They're putting in a new ring road so.. Janice: So anyway, we stopped to ask for directions.. Ray: Listen to this. Janice: I thought we'd better have something to eat before we get there because Valda's one of these vegetarians. Ray: They don't eat meat. Janice: So anyways, we went to this pub, looked alright on the outside, didn't it? Ray: Famous last words. Janice: So we get in and there's a sign saying it was, what do they call it? Ray: A gastropub, don't ask. Janice: We read the menu and asked for mushroom soup, you'll never guess what were in it. Ray: Dried shit- ache mushrooms. Janice: You don't get that in soup, do ya? Janice: This is in Beverley. Ray: The dirty bastards! Victoria Russell: Like most of us in this room, I've got a sneaky suspicion that John is gay. My father in law James, hello sir, who I know is very proud that his baby boy has married such a freeloading ginger gippo. My mother in law Janice . I know she's out there because I can smell the sick. Don't talk about the bulimics, it's a disease! Series 3! Can I borrow your nice four colour biro? Martin: Yeah sure. Geordie Georgie: I'll tell you what it is. Me and some of the girls are doing a little fundraiser next Saturday - a round- the- clock pancake flip for all the little victims of sexual harassment in the workplace. Martin: That's a really worthy cause. Geordie Georgie: Aye it is. Did you know that every thirty- eight minutes - some unsuspecting little temp in a short skirt bends over to file something in the bottom drawer and gets shagged up the arse? Martin: Every 3. 8 minutes?? Geordie Georgie: If you don't believe me, log on to the website ; www. How much shall I put you down for? Martin: How about 1. Geordie Georgie: ? For all those half dressed little dolly birds whose only thanks for franking the mail of a Friday afternoon is a face full of jizz. Martin: I just can't splash it about. Geordie Georgie: Aye, that's it, laugh it up. Paul: Want a cup of tea, babe? Sam: That'll be lovely.(Ceiling falls down)Sam: Paul. Paul: Yes, babe. Sam: You won't believe what's just happened. Paul: What happened? Sam: I found that earring I was looking for. Paul: Where was it? Sam: I dunno!!! Comic Relief Special. Deal, deal, deal. Noel Edmunds: We have to play on. Nan Taylor: Oh no, love, I ain't got time to play a game for money I won't win. What a load of ole' shit!!! Mr Logan: Morning. Class: A'riight? Lauren: Sir? Mr Logan: Yeah? Lauren: Are you English, Sir? Mr Logan: No, I'm Scottish. Lauren: So you ain't English, then? Mr Logan: No, I'm British. Lauren: So you ain't English, then? Mr Logan: No, I'm not, but as you can see, I do speak English. Lauren: But I can't understand what you're sayin', Sir. Mr Logan: Well, clearly you can. Lauren: Sorry, are you talkin' Scottish now? Mr Logan: . Don't sound like it. Mr Logan: Okay, whatever you want. Let's get on with Shakespeare. Lauren: I don't think you're qualified to teach us English. Mr Logan: I am perfectly qualified to teach English. Lauren: I don't think you are, though. Mr Logan: You don't have to be English to teach it. Lauren: Right, have we got double English or double Scottish? Mr Logan: . I only wanna aks you a question. Why can't I aks you a question? I'm only aksing a question. Can I just aks you question? Mr Logan: What is it? Lauren: Are you the Doctor?! Logan: Don't be ridiculous! Lauren: You know your house right? Mr Logan: What? Lauren: You know your house? Mr Logan: Yeah? Lauren: Is it bigger on the inside? Mr Logan: Be quiet. Lauren: Did you park the TARDIS on a meter? Mr Logan: Can we please get back to Shakespeare? So- Lauren: Do you fancy Billie Piper, sir? Mr Logan: ! William Shakes- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE WAS A GENIUS! YOU, LITTLE MADAME, ARE DEFINITELY NOT! NOW JUST SIT THERE, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, OR I WILL FAIL YOU IN THIS WHOLE MODULE RIGHT NOW! Lauren: . I'm calling your parents- Lauren: Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?! Art thou calling my mother a pox- ridden wench?! Art thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?! Mr Logan: . But he ain't a goodly rotten apple, though. Lauren: I ain't even bovver! My Liege, I be not bovver. You take the high road and I'll take the low road.
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